Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
