Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
