I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
