Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
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WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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