She is in my trunk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
