Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
