Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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