Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
