Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.

Fav 35 3206 3220
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.

Fav 50 1352 10133
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.

Fav 19 1060 4749
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year

Fav 14 1430 4992
share tweet
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up

Fav 23 8382 1486
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Some one left their pants in the elevator.

Fav 7 4558 1125
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.

Fav 8 4557 1311
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again

Fav 6 752 1252
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Ontario

We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?

Fav 3 71 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT