btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
