you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
