I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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