she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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