Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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