I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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