and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
