dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
