is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
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If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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