im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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