Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
