dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize