What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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