if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
