WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
