Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Randomize
