just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
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Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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