we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
