A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize