her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
