i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
