i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
