i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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