this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
