this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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