I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
