Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
