hotel room ftw
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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