Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
