Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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