You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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