Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
