So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
