watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize