Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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