Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
