I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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