I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
