Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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