just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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