why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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