I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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