I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
