It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
