Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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