Need sex. Gaining weight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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