well most of my day revolves around power hour
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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