Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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