5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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