Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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