East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
