if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I had to cum in my sink.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
